Change is inevitable, struggle is optional.

It can be hard to let go, even when it’s for the best, even when I know something better awaits. The familiar is comfortable. Until it isn’t.

Right after I left IBM, if you had asked me what I did, I would say “I used to work at IBM and now I…. “It was hard to let go of who I had been. It was my identity. There are people I’ve met more recently that may never know I worked at IBM. It’s always part of me, still part of my identity. I’m grateful for it. It’s just not all of me.

When I left IBM, change was a choice. Other times, like my husband’s death, change has been thrust upon me.

I find it useful to use my engineering degree to understand the forces affecting me. Restraining forces that Pull me back from change include attachments to what’s familiar: people, places, things, identities.

If change is inevitable, then hanging onto the past will just cause struggle. Letting go of the past doesn’t mean rejecting it. It means letting go of the attachment to it.

I’m not saying it’s easy to let go. I get a familiar floating feeling when I’m between -not attached to the past, but not yet connected to a future. It can be quite terrifying.

When that happens I search for the positive direction. What’s next? Where should I put my energy? What should I focus on?

That’s another force in the equation.